The Last Airbender

This may have been the worst movie I have ever seen. It was definitely one of the worst movies I have ever seen. As such, I am having a lot of trouble trying to articulate just how awful it was. The only way for me to proceed is to analyze each element of the movie.

Acting: Sub-par across the board. Granted the star of the movie must have been thirteen years old or less. The actors portraying Sokka(mispronounced Soak-uh in the film) and Azula(a rare correct pronunciation) offered a slight reprieve from the consistent lack of believability that pervaded each scene, the latter of which appeared for about 6 seconds in the last shot of the movie. For acting, I award the cast of "The Last Airbender" a 3 out of 10.

Special Effects: Decent. The elements being bended in each fight scene were pretty and realistic. However, the actual movements meant too correspond with the elements rarely synced up appropriately. Also, for some reason, the only firebender able to create fire was General Iroh(mispronounced Eer-oh), whereas in the television series, that was the very reason firebenders were so formidable -- they didn't need to draw from their surroundings; fire came from within. The creatures in the film were ridiculous. Appa, the flying bison, looked more like a platypus with horns and smashed face. While this may have been acceptable in the cartoon, it clashed noisily with the sharp reality of the film. The same was true for the dragon-spirit from whom Aang(mispronounced Ong), the Avatar(mispronounced Ahvatar), drew guidance, as opposed to Avatar Roku who advised Aang in the cartoon. Thank god the bending looked cool. Special effects in "The Last Airbender" earn a well-deserved 6.5.

Screenplay and directing: Where do I even begin? Absolutely atrocious. Unspeakably, utterly, ubiquitously terrible. The plot was decimated but for the beginning and end. The dialog was trite, unconvincing, and bland. Liz Jarmer and I found ourselves laughing at the rare moments of conversation. Most of the movie was spent panning over landscapes or watching stunt doubles spin around in complex displays of martial arts while a pitiful ball of fire floated feebly toward the ill-developed main characters whose names were almost always mispronounced. I lack the words to adequately relate the destruction that was dealt to this beautiful and gripping story. The Fire Nation, which in the show was modeled after feudal Japanese culture, was changed to Indian -- I'm guessing this was so that the director could make a brief cameo later in the series, as he likes to do in his films. The Water Tribe was mostly Inuit, as expected, but it was speckled white here and there by a few random Caucasians, including two of the main characters who were quite dark-skinned in the show. Commander Zhao randomly changed rank at the end of the movie, following his death, which I believe did not occur in the first book of the cartoon. He also received gratuitously more screen-time than did Sokka, Katara, Zuko, or possibly Aang. None of the characters were well-developed. Aang, who is supposed to be a fun-loving youth whose biggest concern is penguin sledding, was a brooding infant who seemed incapable of crying yet often dawned an expression that resembled that of someone who is on the verge of sneezing, which I took to represent sadness. There is so much to say about how terribly written and directed this movie was. It was a difficult task to shorten a season of twenty episodes into a two-hour film, but greater feats have been done. I cite Peter Jackson's "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.
This movie is the worst movie that I have seen in a very long time. I can scarcely recall a worse experience in the movie theater. Only once before have I actually wanted back the two hours of my life spent in front of the big screen. To the screenplay for "The Last Airbender," I award a...no screw that. You don't even get a 1 out of 10. You get a 0. Because this is the one of the best, most fun, most gripping and engaging stories ever told, and you ruined it. You killed it. You stomped all over it and took a dump on it. If this movie completely destroys M. Night's career as a director, his fate will be too good for him.