This may have been the worst movie I have ever seen. It was definitely one of the worst movies I have ever seen. As such, I am having a lot of trouble trying to articulate just how awful it was. The only way for me to proceed is to analyze each element of the movie.
Acting: Sub-par across the board. Granted the star of the movie must have been thirteen years old or less. The actors portraying Sokka(mispronounced Soak-uh in the film) and Azula(a rare correct pronunciation) offered a slight reprieve from the consistent lack of believability that pervaded each scene, the latter of which appeared for about 6 seconds in the last shot of the movie. For acting, I award the cast of "The Last Airbender" a 3 out of 10.
Special Effects: Decent. The elements being bended in each fight scene were pretty and realistic. However, the actual movements meant too correspond with the elements rarely synced up appropriately. Also, for some reason, the only firebender able to create fire was General Iroh(mispronounced Eer-oh), whereas in the television series, that was the very reason firebenders were so formidable -- they didn't need to draw from their surroundings; fire came from within. The creatures in the film were ridiculous. Appa, the flying bison, looked more like a platypus with horns and smashed face. While this may have been acceptable in the cartoon, it clashed noisily with the sharp reality of the film. The same was true for the dragon-spirit from whom Aang(mispronounced Ong), the Avatar(mispronounced Ahvatar), drew guidance, as opposed to Avatar Roku who advised Aang in the cartoon. Thank god the bending looked cool. Special effects in "The Last Airbender" earn a well-deserved 6.5.
Screenplay and directing: Where do I even begin? Absolutely atrocious. Unspeakably, utterly, ubiquitously terrible. The plot was decimated but for the beginning and end. The dialog was trite, unconvincing, and bland. Liz Jarmer and I found ourselves laughing at the rare moments of conversation. Most of the movie was spent panning over landscapes or watching stunt doubles spin around in complex displays of martial arts while a pitiful ball of fire floated feebly toward the ill-developed main characters whose names were almost always mispronounced. I lack the words to adequately relate the destruction that was dealt to this beautiful and gripping story. The Fire Nation, which in the show was modeled after feudal Japanese culture, was changed to Indian -- I'm guessing this was so that the director could make a brief cameo later in the series, as he likes to do in his films. The Water Tribe was mostly Inuit, as expected, but it was speckled white here and there by a few random Caucasians, including two of the main characters who were quite dark-skinned in the show. Commander Zhao randomly changed rank at the end of the movie, following his death, which I believe did not occur in the first book of the cartoon. He also received gratuitously more screen-time than did Sokka, Katara, Zuko, or possibly Aang. None of the characters were well-developed. Aang, who is supposed to be a fun-loving youth whose biggest concern is penguin sledding, was a brooding infant who seemed incapable of crying yet often dawned an expression that resembled that of someone who is on the verge of sneezing, which I took to represent sadness. There is so much to say about how terribly written and directed this movie was. It was a difficult task to shorten a season of twenty episodes into a two-hour film, but greater feats have been done. I cite Peter Jackson's "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.
This movie is the worst movie that I have seen in a very long time. I can scarcely recall a worse experience in the movie theater. Only once before have I actually wanted back the two hours of my life spent in front of the big screen. To the screenplay for "The Last Airbender," I award a...no screw that. You don't even get a 1 out of 10. You get a 0. Because this is the one of the best, most fun, most gripping and engaging stories ever told, and you ruined it. You killed it. You stomped all over it and took a dump on it. If this movie completely destroys M. Night's career as a director, his fate will be too good for him.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
My Week in Colorado
The following are a succession of journal entries from my week at a Christian family camp in Colorado.
June 13, 2010
So, there's no internet up here in the mountains. I'll be blogging on Wordpad until I do have internet access. I may not even upload these to my blog. However, if I want people to read I should keep updating stuff. Why would I want people to read, though? To feel special? Or something.... Anyway, it is 3 in the afternoon on my second day here. We arrived last night at about 9 in the evening. I went to bed pretty promptly.
My brother brought a dog here. A black labrador puppy. He's adorable. His name is Bud. However, this is against the rules of both my father and the camp. Oh yeah, we're at a family camp called the Horn Creek Lodge. We come here every year for the second week of June. A bunch of other families come too. We've grown to know and love them all pretty well. Except this year a lot of people aren't coming. 3 families that I can think of off the top of my head. The camp feels empty and lonely. Not as Horn Creek-y.
I HAVE NO MUSIC!! Oh my god, I'm going to die. This lap top doesn't have a disc drive so I didn't bring any CDs cause I knew I wouldn't have anything to play them on, but I just realized that I have Windows Media Player so I could probably have loaded some music onto it right before we left..whatever. Mleh.
Sadly, there are no cute teenaged boys for me to scam on. The week is looking pretty friggin' dull. I'll probably just chill out most of the time, hike around the camp, take some trails up the mountain. Read. I'm on the eighth installment in the Dragonlance Series: Dragons of Summer Flame. It's pretty intense so far. It's much easier to read than the Second Generation. Second Generation just seemed...trite. Cheesy. Unprofessional. Like a Richard A. Knak novel. By the way, if you ever have the opportunity to read one of Mr. Knak's ubiquitous fantasy novels, do not. They are VERY poorly written. And he doesn't even come up with his own stuff, he just writes about other people's characters. He sucks. I'm a better author than he is.
Anyhow, my fear of being re-closeted upon my arrival at Horn Creek was quickly quelled. My cousin Sam has been a very accomodating, accepting friend this past...half a day. I haven't even been here 24 hours yet. Whatever. It's been nice though, I feel totally comfortable around him, I can just be me. Unfortunately, he's not a viable candidate for my romantic advances, but I can do without someone to flirt with for a while. I may just text Trevor.
Also, the religious tones of the camp haven't managed to irritate me yet. I hope that is something I can maintain. I will have to sit through the nightly "round-up": a daily church service after dinner.
Sister, Hannah, holding Bud in the small meadow outside the lodge.
June 14, 2010
Day two at Horn Creek, Mt. Harvard week 2010. There's a general lack of eventfulness as of yet. It is only noon. Lunch should be soon. I'm really itching to tell a couple people I like boys. It's just awkward and they can't understand some things about me without that knowledge. Nothing really to report. We watched Surrogates with Bruce Willis before we went to sleep last night. It was weird. I didn't like it that much. The one guy who plays the doctor in it is so typecast. He keeps playing these psycho scientists who end up hating their creation. Except in the case of Zefryn Cochraine. He was just drunk all the time. The Dragonlance series makes me so sad. The world has started it's slow dedcline into darkness. It's killing me. I can't wait to get to the War of Souls. I want a new protagonist. It's nice to be reading from Usha. She's sort of annoying though. I think Tanis is going to die in this one. Which is exciting. I never really liked Tanis. It's about time he passed on. The Majeres are probably going to become a focus of plot. Namely Palin. Don't like him that much, really. I LOVE JENNA. Oh my gosh, I want to read more about Jenna. What a beast.
June 16, 2010
It's Wednesday. I didn't blog yesterday..I don't know why. All I did was nap. Actually, I went on the alpine swing yesterday morning. It was fun. They put me in a harness and hauled me up on a rope like forty feet in the air and then let me swing. It was kind fun, not too intense. The best part was the really hot guy who was working the swing. His name was Steven. He was wearing a loose-fitting, well worn, salmon t-shirt that exhibited his wiry torso pretty well. He also wore really good jeans that showed off all the right curves and a belt with a big buckle. His short, sandy hair was capped with a John Deere hat that shaded his dark eyes, his vibrantly tan skin, and his brilliant, crystaline smile. I couldn't help but get a little excited as he cinched the straps on my harness.
Steven is one of three hot guys here. The other is the wrangler and recreation manager. His name is Purdy, I think. What's kind of weird about him is the fact that he's bald, which I really don't mind too much, and his freaky teeth. But he's huge. His muscles are constantly threatening to burst out of his tight, black t-shirts. He also wears chaps when he rides. It's hot. Another guy who's kind of a looker is James. He's like the activities coordinator. It seems like they always try and get a really attractive couple of people to do this. I'm reminded of the Marsden-esque Joe from a couple years ago. Anyway, James has this adorable Texan accent and he wears sporty clothes including a one-size Underarmour cap which he wears backwards. He's also very tan and has a cute smile. He's very amiable. I tend to fall for the straight guys who treat me like a man. That's probably the most attractive thing to me. Fraternity. I never realized that before. It's odd. It's not romantic at all. It makes it impossible for me to have both a romantic relationship and a brotherly one. Those two can't mix. They're complete opposites. Or can they? Hmm. I guess time and experimentation will tell.
Today, I woke up a little bit late and went to breakfast with my crazy-ass bed head. Breakfast was a yummy little egg kiesh thing and fried potatoes. After that, I took my djembe up to the cabin and played with my sisters on the porch. They're all so talented. They play string instruments: Hannah on the guitar, Jamie on the banjo, Laura on the ukulele. I always feel lame cause I'm not contributing anything to the tune except for a color and a rhythm. I'm going to learn fiddle in college. And I'm going to get really good at improv so I can play with my family, and Chaz can play the djembe. And I'm going to start writing songs. That's really what I want to do. Really raw, touching songs with beautiful melodies and ecstatic chord progressions. I'm excited.
I just don't want to do anything. I just want to chill with people around the lodge and hang out. I think I'm going to take my flute up to the creek later today and play to the forest.
Later that day...
So I did some bushwacking along the creek today. I tracked a deer. My older brother thinks I just followed random marks in the dirt and accidentally found a deer. What happened was, I found very deep, very pronounced tracks in the dirt that looked a lot like deer hooves. I followed them as well as some patches of overturned moss and upset rocks and found a deer in lush grove of aspen and fern-like shrubs. I got about twenty feet away before it heard me and ran off. It was a young deer. I think female. It still had spots on its back, so I guess it could have gone either way. I also found a really picture-esque bloom of Columbine perched atop a small mound of earth in a shady little glen with a bee scrambling around in the bloom. I took photos. :P
I kept climbing and found several such picture-esque spots. As always occurs up here, the beauty of the surroundings has..awoken something in me. Some respect for whatever spirituality might actually exist in this universe. I began searching for proof of that. I wanted a vision. I wanted a tree to speak to me and tell me that there really is magic in the world and that it's not all just a cold, hard equation. I mocked myself. My mind, or heart or soul or whatever became a cacaphony of mingled passion and longing and cynicality and mocking and mourning for the innocence that I once had. God, I'm such a fucking poet. This is what I'm talking about. There's this part of me that is clinging desperately to whatever sense of romance I ever had and the rest of me thinks it's idiotic and juvenile. It's fucking depressing.
I failed to mention an attractive man of Horn Creek in my earlier account. His name's Mark. He's not hot really. He's kind of adorable though. He's incredibly sweet and genial. He looks like a dorky Aaron Tveit. He's really cute. I think he's probably gay. No straight man smiles like that when he takes your plate from you.
Tomorrow, I'm climbing the peak. I'll probably have some photos and anecdotes. Til then.
June 17, 2010
Today I hiked a mountain. To my relief, it was not the hike that would be guided by the attractive male staff, Purdy and Steven--I just wouldn't have been able to handle that. I climbed Venable Peak and Comanche Peak with my dad, my sisters, and three children of the Maillefair family.
It was a beautiful climb. The most fun I've ever had climbing a mountain. We saw deer and elk, as well as several marmots. My phone ran out of memory very fast so I didn't get as many pictures as I would have liked. Tonight was skit night. Despite my exhaustion from our 10 hour, 14 mile hike, I exerted my creative faculties to write two one-man scenes. One was a poetry reading by a scene kid named lars. It got moderate laughs. The other was much better received. It was about a tea party with a Wisconsinite woman and a British man. I played both characters, so you can imagine the antics.
I am positively desperate for a boyfriend. I cannot move beyond it. There's a guy on staff here named Mark. He's very quiet and shy. And he smiles at me all the time. I'm 95% sure he's gay. I want something to happen. We have one more day here. Nothing will happen. Especially since he's probably either straight or denying his sexuality for the sake of salvation. I want a boyfriend SO BADLY. Holy god. He's so cute and so sweet. I want him. Holy hell, I want him. Saturday is back to reality. I have to get a job and help pay for my trip to NYC in July.
I feel like I'm leaving something out. I just can't get over this boyfriendless funk. Holy hell I just did a Glee. Mark!! Just sweep me off my feet. Please. Just pin me up against the back of the Lodge and kiss me rough and sweet. I want you. So much.
June 19, 2010
I'm about to go to a friend's house, and all I can think about is Mark. So I'm writing this to get it out of my system so I don't end up whining about how cute he is and how it sucks that he's straight and how I'm never going to find love and bla bla bla.
But seriously, what kind of straight man smiles at another man like that? Why would he ever do that? Does he know the kind of torture he has put me through? Oh my god. His fucking smile. So god damned adorable. He's a fucking Jesus freak, though. Like that's what his life is all about. And mine is not. It would eventually have fallen apart. But he's so frickin' cute. God. And so sweet. Why would he do this to me? I want to send him an email. Hahaha. That would be an awesome decision. I don't think he even knows who I am. God dammit. Seriously, every time we made eye contact, he would smile at me. I stared at him constantly, so that was pretty often. He was so sweet and so cute and his smile made me feel so light and happy inside. And he was so trendy. Seriously, what kind of a straight man is he??? This sucks.
As soon as I get to Rachel's, I'm going to keep complaining. This isn't going to be sufficient to get it out of my system. I need to read a Jane Austen novel. Fuck. He was so cute and we would have been so perfect together. I had it all planned out in my head. That's what I did today on the ride home. I just daydreamed, thinking about all the wonderful things we would do together and how wonderful and organic and natural our relationship would be. And I would eventually be able to tell him I love him without feeling the slightest twinge of anxiety. We'd always have something to talk about. We'd always have something to do. We'd have so much fun. It would just be perfect. Does he even know what he's done? That fucking smile. That god damned, heart-shattering smile.
Or is it me? Am I just that desperate? That's probably the case. I just need to chill out. I need to learn to be alone again. Because it's not that bad being alone. I did it for a while. I've been alone. I just need to chill out and wait. I'm going to ruin my own life if all I do is sit and think about how alone I am. Sure, Mark was cute. But he was straight. Nothing could ever have happened. Those day dreams, were just dreams. Time to wake up and move on. Enjoy life. What else am I going to talk about though? I can't stop thinking about him...There are plenty of other things to talk about. Just make an effort. It'll be fine. Just calm down, be cool. It'll all be fine.
June 13, 2010
So, there's no internet up here in the mountains. I'll be blogging on Wordpad until I do have internet access. I may not even upload these to my blog. However, if I want people to read I should keep updating stuff. Why would I want people to read, though? To feel special? Or something.... Anyway, it is 3 in the afternoon on my second day here. We arrived last night at about 9 in the evening. I went to bed pretty promptly.
My brother brought a dog here. A black labrador puppy. He's adorable. His name is Bud. However, this is against the rules of both my father and the camp. Oh yeah, we're at a family camp called the Horn Creek Lodge. We come here every year for the second week of June. A bunch of other families come too. We've grown to know and love them all pretty well. Except this year a lot of people aren't coming. 3 families that I can think of off the top of my head. The camp feels empty and lonely. Not as Horn Creek-y.
I HAVE NO MUSIC!! Oh my god, I'm going to die. This lap top doesn't have a disc drive so I didn't bring any CDs cause I knew I wouldn't have anything to play them on, but I just realized that I have Windows Media Player so I could probably have loaded some music onto it right before we left..whatever. Mleh.
Sadly, there are no cute teenaged boys for me to scam on. The week is looking pretty friggin' dull. I'll probably just chill out most of the time, hike around the camp, take some trails up the mountain. Read. I'm on the eighth installment in the Dragonlance Series: Dragons of Summer Flame. It's pretty intense so far. It's much easier to read than the Second Generation. Second Generation just seemed...trite. Cheesy. Unprofessional. Like a Richard A. Knak novel. By the way, if you ever have the opportunity to read one of Mr. Knak's ubiquitous fantasy novels, do not. They are VERY poorly written. And he doesn't even come up with his own stuff, he just writes about other people's characters. He sucks. I'm a better author than he is.
Anyhow, my fear of being re-closeted upon my arrival at Horn Creek was quickly quelled. My cousin Sam has been a very accomodating, accepting friend this past...half a day. I haven't even been here 24 hours yet. Whatever. It's been nice though, I feel totally comfortable around him, I can just be me. Unfortunately, he's not a viable candidate for my romantic advances, but I can do without someone to flirt with for a while. I may just text Trevor.
Also, the religious tones of the camp haven't managed to irritate me yet. I hope that is something I can maintain. I will have to sit through the nightly "round-up": a daily church service after dinner.
Sister, Hannah, holding Bud in the small meadow outside the lodge.
June 14, 2010
Day two at Horn Creek, Mt. Harvard week 2010. There's a general lack of eventfulness as of yet. It is only noon. Lunch should be soon. I'm really itching to tell a couple people I like boys. It's just awkward and they can't understand some things about me without that knowledge. Nothing really to report. We watched Surrogates with Bruce Willis before we went to sleep last night. It was weird. I didn't like it that much. The one guy who plays the doctor in it is so typecast. He keeps playing these psycho scientists who end up hating their creation. Except in the case of Zefryn Cochraine. He was just drunk all the time. The Dragonlance series makes me so sad. The world has started it's slow dedcline into darkness. It's killing me. I can't wait to get to the War of Souls. I want a new protagonist. It's nice to be reading from Usha. She's sort of annoying though. I think Tanis is going to die in this one. Which is exciting. I never really liked Tanis. It's about time he passed on. The Majeres are probably going to become a focus of plot. Namely Palin. Don't like him that much, really. I LOVE JENNA. Oh my gosh, I want to read more about Jenna. What a beast.
June 16, 2010
It's Wednesday. I didn't blog yesterday..I don't know why. All I did was nap. Actually, I went on the alpine swing yesterday morning. It was fun. They put me in a harness and hauled me up on a rope like forty feet in the air and then let me swing. It was kind fun, not too intense. The best part was the really hot guy who was working the swing. His name was Steven. He was wearing a loose-fitting, well worn, salmon t-shirt that exhibited his wiry torso pretty well. He also wore really good jeans that showed off all the right curves and a belt with a big buckle. His short, sandy hair was capped with a John Deere hat that shaded his dark eyes, his vibrantly tan skin, and his brilliant, crystaline smile. I couldn't help but get a little excited as he cinched the straps on my harness.
Steven is one of three hot guys here. The other is the wrangler and recreation manager. His name is Purdy, I think. What's kind of weird about him is the fact that he's bald, which I really don't mind too much, and his freaky teeth. But he's huge. His muscles are constantly threatening to burst out of his tight, black t-shirts. He also wears chaps when he rides. It's hot. Another guy who's kind of a looker is James. He's like the activities coordinator. It seems like they always try and get a really attractive couple of people to do this. I'm reminded of the Marsden-esque Joe from a couple years ago. Anyway, James has this adorable Texan accent and he wears sporty clothes including a one-size Underarmour cap which he wears backwards. He's also very tan and has a cute smile. He's very amiable. I tend to fall for the straight guys who treat me like a man. That's probably the most attractive thing to me. Fraternity. I never realized that before. It's odd. It's not romantic at all. It makes it impossible for me to have both a romantic relationship and a brotherly one. Those two can't mix. They're complete opposites. Or can they? Hmm. I guess time and experimentation will tell.
Today, I woke up a little bit late and went to breakfast with my crazy-ass bed head. Breakfast was a yummy little egg kiesh thing and fried potatoes. After that, I took my djembe up to the cabin and played with my sisters on the porch. They're all so talented. They play string instruments: Hannah on the guitar, Jamie on the banjo, Laura on the ukulele. I always feel lame cause I'm not contributing anything to the tune except for a color and a rhythm. I'm going to learn fiddle in college. And I'm going to get really good at improv so I can play with my family, and Chaz can play the djembe. And I'm going to start writing songs. That's really what I want to do. Really raw, touching songs with beautiful melodies and ecstatic chord progressions. I'm excited.
I just don't want to do anything. I just want to chill with people around the lodge and hang out. I think I'm going to take my flute up to the creek later today and play to the forest.
Later that day...
So I did some bushwacking along the creek today. I tracked a deer. My older brother thinks I just followed random marks in the dirt and accidentally found a deer. What happened was, I found very deep, very pronounced tracks in the dirt that looked a lot like deer hooves. I followed them as well as some patches of overturned moss and upset rocks and found a deer in lush grove of aspen and fern-like shrubs. I got about twenty feet away before it heard me and ran off. It was a young deer. I think female. It still had spots on its back, so I guess it could have gone either way. I also found a really picture-esque bloom of Columbine perched atop a small mound of earth in a shady little glen with a bee scrambling around in the bloom. I took photos. :P
I kept climbing and found several such picture-esque spots. As always occurs up here, the beauty of the surroundings has..awoken something in me. Some respect for whatever spirituality might actually exist in this universe. I began searching for proof of that. I wanted a vision. I wanted a tree to speak to me and tell me that there really is magic in the world and that it's not all just a cold, hard equation. I mocked myself. My mind, or heart or soul or whatever became a cacaphony of mingled passion and longing and cynicality and mocking and mourning for the innocence that I once had. God, I'm such a fucking poet. This is what I'm talking about. There's this part of me that is clinging desperately to whatever sense of romance I ever had and the rest of me thinks it's idiotic and juvenile. It's fucking depressing.
I failed to mention an attractive man of Horn Creek in my earlier account. His name's Mark. He's not hot really. He's kind of adorable though. He's incredibly sweet and genial. He looks like a dorky Aaron Tveit. He's really cute. I think he's probably gay. No straight man smiles like that when he takes your plate from you.
Tomorrow, I'm climbing the peak. I'll probably have some photos and anecdotes. Til then.
June 17, 2010
Today I hiked a mountain. To my relief, it was not the hike that would be guided by the attractive male staff, Purdy and Steven--I just wouldn't have been able to handle that. I climbed Venable Peak and Comanche Peak with my dad, my sisters, and three children of the Maillefair family.
It was a beautiful climb. The most fun I've ever had climbing a mountain. We saw deer and elk, as well as several marmots. My phone ran out of memory very fast so I didn't get as many pictures as I would have liked. Tonight was skit night. Despite my exhaustion from our 10 hour, 14 mile hike, I exerted my creative faculties to write two one-man scenes. One was a poetry reading by a scene kid named lars. It got moderate laughs. The other was much better received. It was about a tea party with a Wisconsinite woman and a British man. I played both characters, so you can imagine the antics.
I am positively desperate for a boyfriend. I cannot move beyond it. There's a guy on staff here named Mark. He's very quiet and shy. And he smiles at me all the time. I'm 95% sure he's gay. I want something to happen. We have one more day here. Nothing will happen. Especially since he's probably either straight or denying his sexuality for the sake of salvation. I want a boyfriend SO BADLY. Holy god. He's so cute and so sweet. I want him. Holy hell, I want him. Saturday is back to reality. I have to get a job and help pay for my trip to NYC in July.
I feel like I'm leaving something out. I just can't get over this boyfriendless funk. Holy hell I just did a Glee. Mark!! Just sweep me off my feet. Please. Just pin me up against the back of the Lodge and kiss me rough and sweet. I want you. So much.
June 19, 2010
I'm about to go to a friend's house, and all I can think about is Mark. So I'm writing this to get it out of my system so I don't end up whining about how cute he is and how it sucks that he's straight and how I'm never going to find love and bla bla bla.
But seriously, what kind of straight man smiles at another man like that? Why would he ever do that? Does he know the kind of torture he has put me through? Oh my god. His fucking smile. So god damned adorable. He's a fucking Jesus freak, though. Like that's what his life is all about. And mine is not. It would eventually have fallen apart. But he's so frickin' cute. God. And so sweet. Why would he do this to me? I want to send him an email. Hahaha. That would be an awesome decision. I don't think he even knows who I am. God dammit. Seriously, every time we made eye contact, he would smile at me. I stared at him constantly, so that was pretty often. He was so sweet and so cute and his smile made me feel so light and happy inside. And he was so trendy. Seriously, what kind of a straight man is he??? This sucks.
As soon as I get to Rachel's, I'm going to keep complaining. This isn't going to be sufficient to get it out of my system. I need to read a Jane Austen novel. Fuck. He was so cute and we would have been so perfect together. I had it all planned out in my head. That's what I did today on the ride home. I just daydreamed, thinking about all the wonderful things we would do together and how wonderful and organic and natural our relationship would be. And I would eventually be able to tell him I love him without feeling the slightest twinge of anxiety. We'd always have something to talk about. We'd always have something to do. We'd have so much fun. It would just be perfect. Does he even know what he's done? That fucking smile. That god damned, heart-shattering smile.
Or is it me? Am I just that desperate? That's probably the case. I just need to chill out. I need to learn to be alone again. Because it's not that bad being alone. I did it for a while. I've been alone. I just need to chill out and wait. I'm going to ruin my own life if all I do is sit and think about how alone I am. Sure, Mark was cute. But he was straight. Nothing could ever have happened. Those day dreams, were just dreams. Time to wake up and move on. Enjoy life. What else am I going to talk about though? I can't stop thinking about him...There are plenty of other things to talk about. Just make an effort. It'll be fine. Just calm down, be cool. It'll all be fine.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
One Good Choice Begets Another
This summer is seeing a lot of changes for one Dr. Mercutiburrs. Starting this blog a total of like 7 hours ago made me realize that. After posting my little blurb on the oil spill, I could not get back to sleep. I've now been awake 10 hours. I went to bed early with the hope of rising renewed and ready to hit the job market. That did not happen. My hag called me at midnight which is apparently what woke me up. I didn't figure that out until 2 am when I actually checked my phone. It was sort of a hot mess. So I blogged, and surfed, and updated songs on Playlist.com. And then at 5:30 when I realized I wasn't going back to sleep, I got up, stretched, and went for a run. Unfortunately, a mile into it I started having an asthma attack. I slowed the pace on the way home, jogging off and on. Then I had to wake my family because I accidentally locked myself out.
I'm just kind of being surprised by all the little changes in my life: the will to actually go for a run, blogging, perseverance in my pursuit of a job. I've just graduated high school. The world is a forest laid out before me to blaze a trail or follow a beaten path. What was the point of this post? I don't remember. Mostly to curb my boredom. there are brawny men in khaki shorts mowing my lawn.
I find myself wondering if anyone is ever going to see this. Why am I writing it? Why am I making it public? Who knows...
I'm wearing my paper Mario pajamas that my friend Sami got me for Christmas. Not long after I received them, I ripped them wrestling with another friend, Justin. So I've barely worn them since then. I like them though. They're soft and breathable. And all the little paper Marios are really cute. God, I'm gay. Flame on..
My legs are really sore. I went on another run two days ago with my sister Laura. 2 miles. Nothing too difficult. The funny thing is, my stamina is just fine, but my legs are killing me. I'm just plain out of shape. How does Mario manage to keep his quaint, portly shape if he's running and jumping on goombas all the time? It must be all those mushrooms he eats.
I'd like a boyfriend. I hate that I'm talking about this, but I'm trying this thing where I don't censor myself just cause someone might not like it. I've enjoyed it so far. I've managed to piss a few people off, but I feel self-affirmed. Anyway, my first and last relationship (last in the sense that it was my most recent relationship, not that I intend to become a monk)ended after 2 1/2 months in mid March. He was 14, I 17, it was a mutual breakup. We just weren't very compatible. We had a great time, but when we finally got to really know each other, we just didn't fit. I think the reason it even started in the first place was because we're in BibleBelt, USA, and central Kansas just isn't too homo-friendly.
I find myself missing him. But as my closest friends have articulated, I'm probably not really missing him, I'm missing my boyfriend. I'm missing the benefits of just having someone there to make you feel special and to give your affection. I'm super lonely though. And he's found someone already. I suppose "already" is a poor choice. It's been 3 months almost. Good for him, though. God, I'm just so jealous.
I just really want someone. And that's probably not going to happen very soon. I'll be leaving town for college in 2 months, and even if I weren't there's no one here that I'm interested in. Except Aaron. But he's going away too. And he's not interested in me.
I'm going to camp next week and I'm really hoping there's a new family there with a cute, sexually curious son for me to get to know. I just want a fun, week-long fling. I had a rebound back in March, but it was a suck-ass rebound. The guy was gross. We got along pretty well up until this one date. It was super awkward, and for some reason we had nothing to talk about. Then we kissed and I felt like I never wanted to touch another boy in my life.
I started this post cause I felt like I was becoming such a suburbanite. I've started blogging, I went running this morning, I had an unusually healthy breakfast, and then I settled down to watch Regis(who was fortunately replaced by Kelly Rippa's attractive husband) & Kelly and The Desperate Housewives. Like, I've just been doing so many things that are out of character for me. It's sort of liberating.
Hahaha, no one cares a single bit about any of this. I hope some poor sap reads this whole thing and then realizes he's just wasted 10 minutes of his life. If it's even that long.
I definitely feel that all these changes are going somewhere good. Like they're leading up to some sort of metamorphosis that will leave me armed and ready to take on the world. Wouldn't that be something.
I'm just kind of being surprised by all the little changes in my life: the will to actually go for a run, blogging, perseverance in my pursuit of a job. I've just graduated high school. The world is a forest laid out before me to blaze a trail or follow a beaten path. What was the point of this post? I don't remember. Mostly to curb my boredom. there are brawny men in khaki shorts mowing my lawn.
I find myself wondering if anyone is ever going to see this. Why am I writing it? Why am I making it public? Who knows...
I'm wearing my paper Mario pajamas that my friend Sami got me for Christmas. Not long after I received them, I ripped them wrestling with another friend, Justin. So I've barely worn them since then. I like them though. They're soft and breathable. And all the little paper Marios are really cute. God, I'm gay. Flame on..
My legs are really sore. I went on another run two days ago with my sister Laura. 2 miles. Nothing too difficult. The funny thing is, my stamina is just fine, but my legs are killing me. I'm just plain out of shape. How does Mario manage to keep his quaint, portly shape if he's running and jumping on goombas all the time? It must be all those mushrooms he eats.
I'd like a boyfriend. I hate that I'm talking about this, but I'm trying this thing where I don't censor myself just cause someone might not like it. I've enjoyed it so far. I've managed to piss a few people off, but I feel self-affirmed. Anyway, my first and last relationship (last in the sense that it was my most recent relationship, not that I intend to become a monk)ended after 2 1/2 months in mid March. He was 14, I 17, it was a mutual breakup. We just weren't very compatible. We had a great time, but when we finally got to really know each other, we just didn't fit. I think the reason it even started in the first place was because we're in BibleBelt, USA, and central Kansas just isn't too homo-friendly.
I find myself missing him. But as my closest friends have articulated, I'm probably not really missing him, I'm missing my boyfriend. I'm missing the benefits of just having someone there to make you feel special and to give your affection. I'm super lonely though. And he's found someone already. I suppose "already" is a poor choice. It's been 3 months almost. Good for him, though. God, I'm just so jealous.
I just really want someone. And that's probably not going to happen very soon. I'll be leaving town for college in 2 months, and even if I weren't there's no one here that I'm interested in. Except Aaron. But he's going away too. And he's not interested in me.
I'm going to camp next week and I'm really hoping there's a new family there with a cute, sexually curious son for me to get to know. I just want a fun, week-long fling. I had a rebound back in March, but it was a suck-ass rebound. The guy was gross. We got along pretty well up until this one date. It was super awkward, and for some reason we had nothing to talk about. Then we kissed and I felt like I never wanted to touch another boy in my life.
I started this post cause I felt like I was becoming such a suburbanite. I've started blogging, I went running this morning, I had an unusually healthy breakfast, and then I settled down to watch Regis(who was fortunately replaced by Kelly Rippa's attractive husband) & Kelly and The Desperate Housewives. Like, I've just been doing so many things that are out of character for me. It's sort of liberating.
Hahaha, no one cares a single bit about any of this. I hope some poor sap reads this whole thing and then realizes he's just wasted 10 minutes of his life. If it's even that long.
I definitely feel that all these changes are going somewhere good. Like they're leading up to some sort of metamorphosis that will leave me armed and ready to take on the world. Wouldn't that be something.
AMAGAH, it's a blog..
So...I'm starting a blog. because this guy on Omegle.com told me too. He observed that i like to rant a lot, which I do, and that I have a lot of opinions, which I kind of do, and he said that blogging would be good for me. So yeah. Starting a blog...
Right now, the thing that has piqued my interest is this oil spill business going on in the Gulf of Mexico. What I understand is that, (somehow)an oil pump broke and for 51 days has been pumping oil into the Gulf.
I've been paying cursory attention to the catastrophe through AC360 and The Colbert Report, because I'm white and politically conscious.
It just has me sort of dismayed, because this planet is pretty much broken beyond all repair. NAME THAT MUSICAL!! Seriously, if you can name the musical that lyric is from...well I can't give you anything substantial, but I'll mention you in a post on this blog that people will totally read and be like "Dude! That chick jessica544 is so cool!"
Anyhow, I've just been sort of saddened by this whole mess. Unfortunately, I can't feel anything too deeply because I live in Kansas and am not really feeling any of the affects of the oil spill here in the midwest. However, my heart goes out to those people whose careers and lifestyles are in jeopardy. If this is you, I'm sacrificing lambs to all the gods I can think of in hopes that their blood will save your jobs...so yeah.
This is probably coming from my lack of investment in the subject, but I don't really get where all this hostility for BP is coming from. I mean yeah, it's their pump and they should take responsibility for allowing thousands of gallons of oil to gush into the Gulf, threatening careers and entire ecosystems alike, but it seems like they've done that for the most part. Yeah, they're being kinda sleezy by buying the first spot on Google for the search "oil spill," but I can't really judge them. I mean if it was I, I'd be scrambling to preserve my image in the publics eye. But then I thrive on others' opinions of me, and I kind of die inside when people don't like me.
In any case, I certainly intend to become more educated on the subject, which shouldn't be too difficult since one incredibly handsome newscaster happens to be covering it, as well as another, slightly less handsome, but certainly more funny one.
This has been my attempt at blogging. Tata.
Right now, the thing that has piqued my interest is this oil spill business going on in the Gulf of Mexico. What I understand is that, (somehow)an oil pump broke and for 51 days has been pumping oil into the Gulf.
I've been paying cursory attention to the catastrophe through AC360 and The Colbert Report, because I'm white and politically conscious.
It just has me sort of dismayed, because this planet is pretty much broken beyond all repair. NAME THAT MUSICAL!! Seriously, if you can name the musical that lyric is from...well I can't give you anything substantial, but I'll mention you in a post on this blog that people will totally read and be like "Dude! That chick jessica544 is so cool!"
Anyhow, I've just been sort of saddened by this whole mess. Unfortunately, I can't feel anything too deeply because I live in Kansas and am not really feeling any of the affects of the oil spill here in the midwest. However, my heart goes out to those people whose careers and lifestyles are in jeopardy. If this is you, I'm sacrificing lambs to all the gods I can think of in hopes that their blood will save your jobs...so yeah.
This is probably coming from my lack of investment in the subject, but I don't really get where all this hostility for BP is coming from. I mean yeah, it's their pump and they should take responsibility for allowing thousands of gallons of oil to gush into the Gulf, threatening careers and entire ecosystems alike, but it seems like they've done that for the most part. Yeah, they're being kinda sleezy by buying the first spot on Google for the search "oil spill," but I can't really judge them. I mean if it was I, I'd be scrambling to preserve my image in the publics eye. But then I thrive on others' opinions of me, and I kind of die inside when people don't like me.
In any case, I certainly intend to become more educated on the subject, which shouldn't be too difficult since one incredibly handsome newscaster happens to be covering it, as well as another, slightly less handsome, but certainly more funny one.
This has been my attempt at blogging. Tata.
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