This summer is seeing a lot of changes for one Dr. Mercutiburrs. Starting this blog a total of like 7 hours ago made me realize that. After posting my little blurb on the oil spill, I could not get back to sleep. I've now been awake 10 hours. I went to bed early with the hope of rising renewed and ready to hit the job market. That did not happen. My hag called me at midnight which is apparently what woke me up. I didn't figure that out until 2 am when I actually checked my phone. It was sort of a hot mess. So I blogged, and surfed, and updated songs on Playlist.com. And then at 5:30 when I realized I wasn't going back to sleep, I got up, stretched, and went for a run. Unfortunately, a mile into it I started having an asthma attack. I slowed the pace on the way home, jogging off and on. Then I had to wake my family because I accidentally locked myself out.
I'm just kind of being surprised by all the little changes in my life: the will to actually go for a run, blogging, perseverance in my pursuit of a job. I've just graduated high school. The world is a forest laid out before me to blaze a trail or follow a beaten path. What was the point of this post? I don't remember. Mostly to curb my boredom. there are brawny men in khaki shorts mowing my lawn.
I find myself wondering if anyone is ever going to see this. Why am I writing it? Why am I making it public? Who knows...
I'm wearing my paper Mario pajamas that my friend Sami got me for Christmas. Not long after I received them, I ripped them wrestling with another friend, Justin. So I've barely worn them since then. I like them though. They're soft and breathable. And all the little paper Marios are really cute. God, I'm gay. Flame on..
My legs are really sore. I went on another run two days ago with my sister Laura. 2 miles. Nothing too difficult. The funny thing is, my stamina is just fine, but my legs are killing me. I'm just plain out of shape. How does Mario manage to keep his quaint, portly shape if he's running and jumping on goombas all the time? It must be all those mushrooms he eats.
I'd like a boyfriend. I hate that I'm talking about this, but I'm trying this thing where I don't censor myself just cause someone might not like it. I've enjoyed it so far. I've managed to piss a few people off, but I feel self-affirmed. Anyway, my first and last relationship (last in the sense that it was my most recent relationship, not that I intend to become a monk)ended after 2 1/2 months in mid March. He was 14, I 17, it was a mutual breakup. We just weren't very compatible. We had a great time, but when we finally got to really know each other, we just didn't fit. I think the reason it even started in the first place was because we're in BibleBelt, USA, and central Kansas just isn't too homo-friendly.
I find myself missing him. But as my closest friends have articulated, I'm probably not really missing him, I'm missing my boyfriend. I'm missing the benefits of just having someone there to make you feel special and to give your affection. I'm super lonely though. And he's found someone already. I suppose "already" is a poor choice. It's been 3 months almost. Good for him, though. God, I'm just so jealous.
I just really want someone. And that's probably not going to happen very soon. I'll be leaving town for college in 2 months, and even if I weren't there's no one here that I'm interested in. Except Aaron. But he's going away too. And he's not interested in me.
I'm going to camp next week and I'm really hoping there's a new family there with a cute, sexually curious son for me to get to know. I just want a fun, week-long fling. I had a rebound back in March, but it was a suck-ass rebound. The guy was gross. We got along pretty well up until this one date. It was super awkward, and for some reason we had nothing to talk about. Then we kissed and I felt like I never wanted to touch another boy in my life.
I started this post cause I felt like I was becoming such a suburbanite. I've started blogging, I went running this morning, I had an unusually healthy breakfast, and then I settled down to watch Regis(who was fortunately replaced by Kelly Rippa's attractive husband) & Kelly and The Desperate Housewives. Like, I've just been doing so many things that are out of character for me. It's sort of liberating.
Hahaha, no one cares a single bit about any of this. I hope some poor sap reads this whole thing and then realizes he's just wasted 10 minutes of his life. If it's even that long.
I definitely feel that all these changes are going somewhere good. Like they're leading up to some sort of metamorphosis that will leave me armed and ready to take on the world. Wouldn't that be something.
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